Having A Good Relationship With Our Children

By Angie Lewis

I believe to have a good relationship with our children we must be parents that show by example. What are we showing our children? Do we talk a lot and not do what we say ourselves? Parents have duties and responsibilities just like children have duties and responsibilities. It’s a fact that if we shuck our responsibilities we will pay for it with rebellious children and a “not so very good” relationship with them.

Do Not Exasperate
Scriptures tells fathers not to exasperate their children but to bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (NIV Ephesians 6:4) What do you think that means? First lets take a look at what the KJV bible says:

“And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
KJV Ephesians 6:4


Now, what do you think that means? How would a father exasperate his children? I think he would confuse and frustrate his children by saying one thing and doing another. The point of this scripture is for a Christian father to understand that disciplining of his children should be done through the Lord. A father must allow God to come first in his own life before he can discipline his children properly. In other words without God’s instruction in a fathers life, he may provoke his son to have anger in him because of his mistaken discipline that comes from self.

It makes sense then, that the only way a father could discipline his son in the Lord is if the father had faith in the Lord’s discipline in the first place. A good disciplinary is a father who has faith that God knows best. You show your own faith to your son through your faith in the Lord. Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Get Involved
Children start out in life looking up to their parents because parents are all they have – the parent’s example is all they see. Are we patient and considerate of the things they enjoy in life? Do we involve ourselves in their activities, interests and hobbies? Did you know that your relationship with your children when they are young will make a difference in your relationship with them when they are older?

Jesus said,
I have set you as an example that you should do as I have done for you.
John 13:15


Walk The Message
Live your own life from what you have learned in the Lord. Nothing is more valuable than the wisdom God has blessed us with. We know the difference between a parent who applies godly wisdom and instruction to circumstances in their child’s life and the parent who does not. Which parent are you? Are you walking the message or are you only hearing the message through church service on Sunday? We should encourage our children to seek the Lord’s wisdom at all times and in all things.

Fix these words of mind in your hearts and minds, tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
Deuteronomy 11:18,19


Do Not Have High Expectations
Some parents have too high of expectations for their children to succeed in this life. They want their children to achieve things that they themselves never had. But this kind of thinking is showing to your children that achievements, money, and status are more important to you than the child. It also puts them under a tremendous pressure to prove something they possibly cannot do. Ouch!

Parents must allow their children to succeed according to the God-given talents and gifts the Lord has blessed them with. In this world success may be measured in money, status, and achievements, but in God’s world, success is measured in happiness, faith, forgiveness, and love in the Lord Jesus Christ. If a person has happiness and understands how to forgive others than they have been blessed with wisdom and much gifts.

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. Do not neglect your gift.
1 Timothy 4:12-14



Build Them Up In The Lord
Teenagers with low self-esteems have been given this self worth from somewhere – it does not come about on its own, it is created by environment and what they have been taught over the years. Adam and Eve did not have to prove their worth to anyone. But this upside down culture has young people running around in circles trying to prove their value and worth to society. Where is this all coming from? No amount of money, status or achievements can give us a real sense of worthiness like the value and love we have in the Lord Jesus Christ.

For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:10

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