The Elephant in your living room (Elements To Courage)
By Kris Belfils
I took my daughters to school today and both of them didn't want
to go. It was Monday, and Monday is the hardest day of the week
as it means school. My daughters have always wanted to be with
my husband and me instead of going. I can understand as I was
the same way when I was younger. I would rather do anything
instead of go to school. As I was saying, "Good bye" to them, I
spoke out, "Be brave, and be strong and courageous!" I started
to think about those words and what I was going through in my
own life. Recently I have been facing my fears and walking
through things I have avoided for years. God has been telling me
to be "strong and courageous" (Joshua 1:6) as I face my giants
and obstacles that come my way to get to the Promised Land. Fear
of the unknown, fear of my past, fear of man, fear of failure,
and even the fear that I missed the Promised Land altogether.
Being courageous is not an easy thing to do, especially when it
has been marks of your character to run and bolt under pressure.
The word courageous means: possessing or displaying courage;
able to face and deal with danger or fear without flinching.
The word courage means: The quality of mind or spirit that
enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc, without
fear, and with self-possession, confidence, resolution; bravery.
There are times when I do feel courageous and I face my fears,
other times I shrink back and find a place of refuge. I believe
God knows and sees this. He knows when I am weak or vulnerable.
I also believe God will bring about encouragement somehow. It
might be a passage of scripture you read that blesses you and
gives you strength to continue. It might be a friend or loved
one saying or doing something for you. It might be the Holy
Spirit speaking to your heart in such a way that you realize you
can keep going under fire.
There are several elements to courage that are always there.
When we follow through with what we need to do, even though we
don't want to do it, we will see all these elements come to
pass.
ELEMENTS TO COURAGE
1. Courage takes boldness - Face your fears
Fear, in it self, can rule us and paralyze us if we let it. Fear
of the unknown is overwhelming if we allow the thoughts to take
over our minds. One thing I have found to combat fear in my life
is to remind myself of God's faithfulness. I remember situations
in my past that God has brought me through and I tell myself
that He will bring me through this too.
We must remember that retreating from our fears only brings
weakness. It also multiplies the fear in our minds and it
becomes even bigger than reality. I know as I have done it in my
life. Then, instead of facing something small and manageable, we
face a puffed up illusion of the fear. This can only bring
torment and pain. This is the enemies work too. We have to
recognize it for what it is. God is not a God of fear. He is a
God of courage. So, if you face any fears in your life, realize
God wants you to have courage. Pray and ask God what you should
do. Should you confront the fear? Should you wait? Should you
just let the fear go and trust God for the outcome?
This week I have had to look at some "scary" fears in my life.
As I looked at them, I let them overwhelm me and I began to
retreat and want to give up. Courage was not in me at all. This
is rather hard to tell you as I have a fear of people thinking I
am not a strong woman of God, or weak in the face of fear. But
as I started to retreat, I turned around and looked at the fear.
It became even bigger to me. I stopped and walked right up to it
and saw it finally for what it was; fiction. Fear is fiction, at
least the fear I was facing. It was not reality. I had allowed
the fear of man, and fear of my past, to paralyze and prevent me
from moving on with my life, and with ministry.
One of my fears is not measuring up to other people. I have
always felt "less than" others. This fear has blown up so big in
my life this past week. I was shocked at the size I had allowed
it to get. My insecurities and weaknesses were so huge in my
mind that they seemed insurmountable. But the only way I will
overcome them is to face them and push myself towards them. I am
determined to not be in bondage to my fears. We all have them;
it is how we deal with them that really determine what we will
do in life. So I have made a determination in my heart to walk
towards my fears instead of retreating or finding a place to
hide.
My Pastor and a close friend pointed out some of my fears to me.
It was like the big "elephant in the living room" syndrome.
Everyone sees you have a big elephant in your living room, as
matter of fact it is taking up all the extra space for anyone to
sit down and fellowship with you. Yet, you have no clue that the
elephant is there. I can imagine a comedy skit of a big elephant
in the living room and people are sitting down on the couches or
chairs trying to drink a cup of coffee and fellowship with you,
but the elephant is so big that it is sitting in everyone's lap.
Still you don't even acknowledge it being there and you try to
strike up a conversation with people. Everyone else sees the
elephant and knows what needs to be done, but you are totally
ignoring the obvious.
It takes courage to face our fears.
2. Courage knows God is always there - Realize you are not alone
Often times we think we have to face our fears alone. That makes
our fears even worse. We think we are the only one there to
figure out what to do. We have to realize we are never alone, we
always have God there. He is constantly speaking to our heart
words of help, direction, encouragement, and peace. We just have
to tune our spiritual ears into His frequency. Scripture says in
1Sa 12:22, "For the LORD will not forsake his people for his
great name's sake: because it hath pleased the LORD to make you
his people." Heb 13:5- 6 "Your life should be free from the love
of money. Be satisfied with what you have, for He Himself has
said, I will never leave you or forsake you. Therefore, we may
boldly say: The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What
can man do to me?"
God's love can envelope us to overcome our fears. He is not
expecting you to be strong and courageous without him. Our
loving Lord will shower us with the confidence of His love to
walk and face what we need to face. In His love we are
transformed and changed. We see things from a different
perspective. The perspective is from His loving arms looking out
to the situation. Everything seems smaller and easily attainable
from His arms.
Let us remember that perfect love drives out fear. 1John 4:18
states, "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out
fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made
perfect in love." God's love for us is perfect. His love drives
our fear away if we receive it. We know fear is not of God
strictly because fear torments us. God is a God of love, not
torment. I like how the Message paraphrase Bible states 1John
4:18, "There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love
banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life--fear of
death, fear of judgment--is one not yet fully formed in love."
God is calling his people to be strong under fire. So many times
we want the easy road out. We would rather find a more
comfortable path to take in life then to walk through a rough
trial. But if we walk through what is in front of us we will be
stronger for it. We will receive a wonderful reward for
endurance.
Joshua 1:6a "Be strong and courageous"
3. Courage takes risks Step out beyond what you know
Usually when you have to confront something, it takes an element
of risk into the unknown. Joshua visited the Promised Land
earlier under Moses leadership, and knew what was in the land he
had to confront. Did he know how they were going to overcome the
giants? No! But he did know God was with him and He was willing
to face what was ahead in the security of knowing God was for
him, and not against him.
The element of risk is challenging. What is your character? Do
you cringe at the thought of risking something? If there is risk
involved, it does mean you will have to let go of something to
reach for something new. The definition of the word, "risk" is,
"the exposure to the chance of injury or loss," so there will be
a loss of some sort. The loss here is the loss of fear! It is
worth the risk of stepping out in courage to confront fear. The
more and more we step out and confront the fear, the easier and
less threatening it becomes in our lives. The risk to the
exposure of injury is always a threat. That is why we retreat
when we see fear. We don't want to get hurt. Our flesh will
scream at us and yell, STOP AND TURN AROUND," while our head and
our heart is saying, "KEEP PRESSING FORWARD!" We really don't
have a choice when it comes to living life and enduring from day
to day. If we stop, we will digress or self-destruct. There is
nothing healthy about that. No, the only choice we have is to
keep going and to press in to any fear and meet it head on to
over come it.
4. Courage takes resilience Enduring when you want to give up
Resilience is the power or ability to return to the original
form or position after being bent, compressed, or stretched;
elasticity. It is the ability to recover from illness,
depression, adversity, or the like; buoyancy. Courage takes
resilience. It is a knowing that as you are walking in the face
of your fears, you will be ok. It is continuing to move forward
even though you see potential hazards around you. Remember that
God is always with us, Isaiah 42:3 "He will not break a bruised
reed, and He will not put out a smoldering wick; He will
faithfully bring justice." God will not allow you to be bent to
the place of breaking. He is with you and has His eye on you
constantly. That's His character. He knows what you can endure,
which is more than what you think you can endure.
Resilience is good as it brings healthy growth. I heard about an
environment scientists were trying to create in the desert. They
created a dome structure that would grow all sorts of plants and
trees. They would plant all types of wildlife. But as the trees
would grow, they started to bend back towards the ground. The
scientists were baffled over this. They gave the trees proper
care, nourishment, and sunlight, but they still would grow
straight for awhile, and then bend towards the ground. Finally
one of the scientists realized that there was no wind. The trees
needed wind to face resistance to make them grow strong under
pressure. This is exactly what happens with us. We need the
winds of adversity to make us grow under pressure. If we never
faced anything that was challenging, we would never know what it
was like to overcome.
I want to be one that bounces back under pressure. I want to
find myself strong after facing my fears.
5. Courage takes action Step out; make a move!
Faith takes action. It is one thing to believe God will bring
you to your promised land, and it is another to never step one
foot towards that promise. We cannot expect to advance and take
the land if we stay in one place. God is waiting for you to step
out. The fear of stepping in the wrong direction is bondage. If
you never step, you will never obtain. I believe if you step in
the wrong direction, God will lovingly correct you if your heart
is to do His will and to please Him. Stand in the confidence of
Who's you are. Step out in faith believing God will move after
you move. Just like the Priests who had to step into the water
with the Ark of the Covenant, once they took a step, the waters
began to part. Before they took the step, the waters never moved
(Joshua 3).
I like what Hebrews 10:35 39 (HCSB) says, "So don't throw away
your confidence, which has a great reward. For you need
endurance, so that after you have done God's will, you may
receive what was promised. For in yet a very little while, the
coming One will come and not delay. But My righteous one will
live by faith; and if he draws back, My soul has no pleasure in
him. But we are not those who draw back and are destroyed, but
those who have faith and obtain life."
Retreating is the opposite of taking a step forward towards your
fears. What does a step forward look like? It can come in the
form of casting down imaginations that try and exalt themselves
above the knowledge of God in your heart (2 Cor. 10:5). It is
bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of
Christ. Another form of stepping towards your fears can be doing
the exact opposite of what your flesh tells you. If you are
afraid of man and what they think of you, then you need to
function and walk where you think people are having a problem
with you, and love them unconditionally. How about facing the
very person that hurt you in your past and give them
forgiveness? I have done this in my past and it has freed me
from tons of bondage fear brought. One of the biggest things we
can do is confront the enemy and cast him down. We have let him
have a stronghold for too long and it's time for us to take our
authority and command him to leave us.
Courage is a wonderful character trait if we let it be complete
in us. Courage is nothing if we don't act upon it. It takes
boldness to face our fears. We can never overcome anything in
our life if we don't confront it and look at it for what it is.
Fiction will puff itself up and that is exactly what fear does.
Remember you are not alone. God always see and is constantly
watching over you. You can walk through this with confidence.
Don't get discouraged at what you see, but be encouraged as you
step into the unknown. If we want to experience more of God we
have to step where we haven't been before. Be resilient! Endure
even when you want to stop, or retreat. I am sure you can think
of the action you need to take to move towards your fears with
courage. Ask God to show you what you need to do. Be brave!
Don't be afraid. Be strong and courageous and possess the land
God has promised you.
Kris Belfils is an Author, Pastor, Singer/Songwriter,
Speaker, and Worship Leader. She has a passion to see people
transformed and set free. Her newest book, "The Garbage Man
Always Comes On Fridays," is a powerful tool to help others
overcome their past.
www.krisbelfils.com
